This coming Sunday is Father’s day so I think it would be appropriate to introduce you to my father Mr. Willie McCullough.  My dad was born Nov 22, 1922, in Birmingham Alabama. Yes, that’s my mother Mrs. Leola McCullough born Oct 23, 1923, Bessemer Alabama.  Born 15 miles apart their paths never crossed until they met in New York. I am convinced that it was in divine order so that I would be born in New York. I don’t think I could have survived the south. I believed they loved each other in their own special way.  My dad was a womanizer and my mom was all about going to church, working, and taking care of children.  On some special occasions, mom and dad would go out.  A lot of times he went out. Mom stayed home. and dad would show up a week later. Usually early Sunday morning in enough time for church.

His name is “James”

t was at my grandmother’s house grandmother 2  ( My dad’s mom) the first time I say my dad get fighting man.  My uncle Roy was drinking with a few of his buddies  Roy was Gussie’s ( grandmother 2) favorite she never said it but even as a child, I could sense the tension between my dad and his mother.  ( I wasn’t in the top 50 of her Christmas card list either).  My uncle Roy called me, but he said ” Jimmy boy come here let me look at ya”  I was headed over to him when my dad put his arm out and looked at Uncle Roy and said ” His name is James, not Jimmy, Jim or boy I named him James” I didn’t move.  Dad was always getting uncle Roy out of trouble, paying his bar tap, gambling debt It appeared that Roy could do no wrong, and my dad was always trying to get approval from his mother.  Butch, and Brenda, are my half brother and sister. I had 3 more half brothers and another half-sister. Butch and Brenda were being raised by our “grandmother”.  (It seemed like we were outside for hours but it was only like 10-15 minutes) my dad came outside and said “Come on here boy we’re leaving”  He gave Butch and Brenda a hug put some money in their hands. I just waved good-bye was to keen on hugging them.  When I got in the car my dad looked at me and said “don’t let any call you anything but James, that is your name”  I didn’t get why he was so adamant about me being called by my birth name.  I was to find out years later.  On the ride home I asked “Dad you called me boy and you told Uncle Roy not to do it.  He looked at me and said, ” I am your father” .  Lesson: ‘Do as I say not as I do”

The “N” word

I had heard the “N” word before.  I even used it,  I knew it was a bad word and never heard it in the house. This day I will always remember it was a nice day I went to a friends house he lived in the back of Lawrence. it was about 2 to 3 miles from home.  I had taken this walk many times  Upscale neighbor, every home had a housekeeper and a gardener.   Picture Little Red Riding hood walking through the woods that was my walk home.   A car was coming high speed I was going out of the way when I heard the ‘N” word.  This time it was different it hit me in the gut.  There was something about the way these men yelled the word I knew I had better run and run fast.  I made it home crying and out of breath.  My mother asked “James what.s wrong, what happened”   I her told what happened.  I can’t recall what she was doing, but what I do remember is being in her arms crying and she held me and let me cry.  When I stopped crying she held my face in her hand and said ” I won’t take all the money in the world for my handsome James”  I would hearsay that several more times.  Then she goes ” your name is James if you answer to anything but James then that is who you are,I don’t want you going back over there, do I make myself clear,” I said yes, but I will still go and ask my friend’s dad for a ride home, or we count up change to call a cab it was only about $3.00.  I never liked the word I still and I don’t get it being used in rap songs there is a lot of good lyrics that don’t use the “N” word or the “B” word.

Not in this house

My mother had a big heart and if she disliked a person she never let that person know, but she would cut a look that me know to take my company outside,   I brought a couple of “friends” home that one stepped foot in my mother’s apartment one time and one time only..  She would say “James lye down with a dog you are going to wake up with fleas”  I went to school with some wealthy kids some let you know that they had money and you didn’t. Well, this particular day I came home from school throw my books down (Mistake #1), and yelled ” I hate white people” .” What did you say” oh James thinking she would be on my side I said again up until that point my mom nor my dad had ever hit me.   well, she did and it hurt “you will not bring that hatred in this house” “James all white people are not bad, and all Black people are not good, you dislike a person, but you will not hate and live in this house” my thought was I can’t wait to get out of your house.  No, I didn’t verbalize it at that time.   I really thought that she would be on my side.  She wasn’t ” James God made us all he knows what he is doing” ” Ma, they have everything all the money big houses” “No, James they don’t have everything They don’t have me as their mother”.   Never understood how she would know what to say when to say, and how to say it.  I would get one her big hugs and for that moment I felt safe secure and rich.